Life in my home with 2 granddaughters is always lively!    My oldest granddaughter, Angela,   has been begging me for some type of pet for over a year.   Now let me explain why I have not exactly jumped on that for her.  Our home is not a huge house, in fact it is just about 1300 sq. feet.   I love our home and am VERY thankful for it.  Yet, there are days that I feel slightly crowded.

We have 3 bedrooms, with myself, husband, 18 yr old son, my oldest daughter, and 2 granddaughters (ages 9 and 10), PLUS our Boston Terrier and German Shepard.   Both dogs are inside dogs for the most part, so needless to say, our home is quite full.   It is filled with lots of love, laundry and with 4 girls in the house and 2 dogs, it seems as though I am always battling cleaning hair of some type up in the house, whether that is on the floors or in the bathrooms.

Needless to say when she starting asking for a pet, I had a slight panic attack just thinking about bringing in another living breathing thing!!    She of course started with something big , like a dog.  Then it was a cat, when the answer to those was no, she moved on to a Guinea Pig.  We have done the Guinea Pig thing when my middle daughter was younger, so ummm NO!    They are noisy , make a heck of a mess and are a challenge to keep the room from stinking.   

As time wore on, eventually Angela decided she wanted a fish.   Aha….finally something that I felt we could live with and not cost me a fortune to feed or take care of, and it wasn’t going to take up too much square footage in our home.  

Of course, I have always been the parent that has made my kids earn a privilege such as owning a pet.   So she had to show me that she could be responsible in keeping her room clean and a few other small requirements before we headed off to the pet store.  

Eventually, she had proven herself and we made our trip to our local PETCO.   I had already decided we were going to get a Beta Fish, as we have owned them in the past and for the most part they are the hardiest fish that I know of.   

She stood in front of the selection of Beta Fish’s for what seemed like an eternity picking out the “perfect” little fish.   I personally wanted her to get a male , as they are just so much prettier than the females!!   Yet of course, no child ever wants the same thing as you do, so she chose the female fish.   In fact, we ended up with a baby female and she named her name Kayla 

So we came home with our new family member and I proceeded to getting her new home, the bowl set up.   Angela had chosen some bright pretty rocks to put in her bowl and a ceramic turtle to put in it, so she had a place to hide.  

We have had her a couple of weeks now and Angela is just as excited about having her  today as she was the day we brought her home.    She has been very responsible in making sure she feeds her , even though we found out we were initially overfeeding her.  I couldn’t figure out for the life of me why her tank got soooo dirty the first week we had her.   Come to find out, with a Beta Fish you only feed them a small pinch every OTHER day, not daily.  Yet once we had figured that out, things have been great.   

So I know that a visit to the dentist and having a “good” report is not all that exciting to most people, but I have to explain a little as to why we are super excited here in my home!   Ok, so maybe I am the one super excited!!

I have had my  2 granddaughters living with me for about 1 1/2 years now.  When they first came to live with me, they hadn’t been to a dentist since they were little, they are now 9 and 10.   When I got them, I made several appointments, and of course the dentist was one of them.   Needless to say, that was NOT an appointment that we got any good news at.    The youngest one had so much work that needed to be done, she was referred out to a Pediatric Dentist, so they could give her some laughing gas and get her work done in just 2 or 3 visits.   The older one had a lot of appointments and cavities to have filled, but it wasn’t as intense.  That was August of last year.  

Even after insurance, I spent hundreds of dollars getting their teeth fixed.  We then were all set to wait until the semi annual cleaning in 6 months.  So our first time on that 6 month visit, we ended up with multiple cavities for both girls.  But we were hopeful for the next visit and at that time, were still getting into the routine of regular teeth brushing, etc.

We have been working diligently since I have had them on proper care of their teeth.   I make sure they don’t have a ton of sweets each day and of course they brush twice a day on a regular basis.   Well, let me re word that, I tell them to brush them in the morning before school,  but to be honest, we are like any other family with kids that we are rushing to try and get out the door for school in the morning.  They probably brush for about 10 seconds and play the other 3 minutes, instead of brushing good.  The other problem we seem to be having is learning how to floss and doing that on a regular basis.   I know it is a matter of creating a new habit, albeit a good one, but that really seems to be a struggle for them.   So , when the 6 month check up was coming up , I had been getting a little nervous.  I was willing to bet we had a few cavities.     I was happily surprised to find out that NO….WE HAD ZERO CAVITIES this visit!!!  I can not tell you how HAPPY I was to hear that news!    You see to me, it meant that we were finally on the right path!

There has been so many changes in these girls lives this past 2 years, but this was a positive one!!   We did get news that the youngest granddaughter will be getting braces, so that will be our next challenge.  Learning how to take care of her teeth while having braces on.   I have no doubts that she will do just fine though.

We had a good day, although it was an emotional and busy one. It started out with the girls (granddaughters) going to their first counseling appointment. This is something that they have needed to have in place for about 6 months, but just wasn’t possible until recently.

I am very blessed to have found a wonderful woman that the girls instantly “clicked” with. I must admit that I wasn’t prepared for the reaction that I saw in the youngest granddaughter, Natalie. I knew that Angela was going to find it easy to talk with a counselor, and I thought that Natalie would just follow along. However, what I saw today after our initial “meet and greet” with the counselor was a little girl who was all of sudden faced with the fact that she might have to deal with some of the feelings that she has been burying down deep. Because of her age, she doesn’t know how to verbally express that, so instead, those emotions and fears come out in her behavior. She has always been the happy child, that is always smiling and doesn’t let you know that she is upset by anything. However, what I saw today after our counseling appointment was a little girl that was crying at the drop of a hat and being extremely combative . She is hurt, mad and confused. It breaks my heart to watch them go through this, and all I can do is love on them and pray.

Her sister, Angela, is the child who “wears her heart on her sleeve”. She has no problem verbalizing what is going on and how she feels about things. They are very much like a lot of sisters, total opposites. I am thankful that both of them have begun the process of starting to sort through all the feelings and emotions over how their life has changed this past year. I pray that God gives me the words and wisdom to help guide them, to help them become the beautiful , healthy strong young women that I know they will be.
After our emotional morning, I decided it was time to go have a little pampering time, so off to the Nail Salon we went. They both got to pick out a Nail design they wanted . I loved the design that Natalie picked, although I have to say, it was a challenge for our Nail Tech to get it on her tiny little toes. Once again, total opposites. Natalie had her toes done and Angela had her nails painted.

GIRLS NAILS

We rounded off our day with their Softball game, which we WON! It was only the second game of the season that they have won, so it was a great end to a busy Saturday!
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(Note: Original post written April 24,2016)

I look around my life and I find that there are so many people that I know that are grandparents and they are raising their grandchildren.  Where are the parents?   Sadly, this is the world that we live in, we see more and more families with this situation.  I never thought in a million years, that I would be joining the ranks of this group of grandparents, but here I am.

I have 2 beautiful grand daughters, ages 8 and 9 that I love with all my heart. I have been in their lives since the day they were born, in fact my husband (Papa) cut the youngest ones umbilical cord.  They were at my house as much, if not more, than they were in their own homes.  You see, they lived right behind me in an apartment that my husband and I own until last spring.  My daughter decided to move and shortly after that , the girls came to live with me.

I have 3 children, the girls’ mom (31 yrs old), a daughter (19 yrs old) and my son (16). I have basically raised all my children and now I feel as though I am starting over.  With the situation the way it is with my oldest daughter, I wouldn’t have the girls anywhere else, but that doesn’t mean that it is easy by any means! I just don’t have the energy I had when I was younger and raising my own children.  I became disabled several years ago, and due to that I just don’t have the physical ability to do things with my grandchildren that I would like to do.  Since I am the parent at this stage in their life, it does require things like doing homework, bath time, school functions, sports, etc.  All of those activities, take a toll on my husband and I physically, emotionally and financially.  I mean something as simple as getting dinner on the table, doing homework, making sure they are brushing their teeth and taking showers, and then bedtime prayers, wears me out!  I am not old by any means, but I am not a spring chicken anymore either.

I admit, I find myself getting mad or frustrated because while I want to be the grandparent that spoils them , fills them with sugar and sends them home, I don’t get to do fun stuff like that.  Instead, I have to be the disciplinarian in their lives, and teach them the life skills that a parent should be teaching them. There are challenges involved with the girls , simply because of their emotional state of mind.  I found that on days they are missing their mom really bad, they each react in their own different ways.  While one of the girls gets sassy and starts acting out, the other one seems to internalize it and gets emotional and clingy.  I have sat them both down and talked with them, telling them instead of “acting out” and getting into trouble, to come talk to me. I have given them both journals , so they can write their “feelings” down.  However, they are 8 and 9, and they just don’t know how to handle the emotions they are feeling. Prior to coming to live with me, their mom was a single mom for most of their lives.  Their dad has been in and out of their lives since the day they were born.  So, when they are missing somebody, it is always mom.  All I can do is pray over them and be the best parent I know how to be.

I am hoping by writing this post there will be other grandparents out there that are in the same shoes as me, to at the very least know that they aren’t alone.  In fact, I looked up some statistics and I found some shocking numbers. In 2010 about 1 in 14 children in the US lived in a household headed by a grandparent, 7% of the children in the US.   According to the articles I have read on this subject, that is approx. 4.9 million children.  About 920,000 children were living in a grandparents home without one of their parents. How crazy is that statistic!?

I said it before and I will say it again, I LOVE my granddaughters with all my heart and I am so thankful that God has placed them in my home, so I know that they are safe and have a stable home.  I hope that as the girls grow up, they know that their Papa and I have done the best job we know in raising them.   I pray constantly and hourly for my oldest daughter that she will “wake up” and realize that her girls need her more and more with each passing day.    I hope that one day, I will get to be that Nana that spoils the heck out of them and sends them home to their mom, in a loving and stable home.   I hope that in some way, I have opened my readers eyes to the joys and tribulations to Grandparents raising grandchildren.

Reference Articles:

http://www.prb.org/Publications/Articles/2012/US-children-grandparents.aspx

http://www.aarp.org/relationships/grandparenting/info-12-2010/more_grandparents_raising_grandchildren.html