Grandparents Raising Teenagers / Update

It has been months since I gave an update on raising our 2 oldest granddaughters.  

I will start with a quick recap of how we got to this point in life.  About 8 years ago, our oldest daughter started her fight with addiction and she brought her girls to live with their Papa and I.  If you would like to know the beginning of that story, I have put a link to that blog post here

It seems as though my  home is full of hormones and teenage drama.  I love having the girls here, but wow!  Teenage girls can really test your patience!  read more

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UPDATE: Grandparents Raising Grandchildren

Natalie, 13 yrs old & Angela, 14 yrs old

It has been months since I wrote a heartfelt blog post.  I find myself feeling all kinds of crazy emotions lately, so I figured now was a great time to start getting back to what I originally created this blog around. I am a grandparent raising grandchildren.   The crazy part of that statement is that I am only one of 2.7 million grandparents that are currently raising grandchildren!

Just to give a quick update.  I am married to an incredible husband and we are getting ready to celebrate 25 years of marriage in a couple of months.  About 6 years ago our 2 oldest granddaughters came to live with us.  Our oldest daughter, their mom, has addiction issues in addition to some mental health things going on.  She has always been a great mom and so when she felt herself making some bad choices and running from some things that had happened in her adult life, she brought the girls to her dad and I.  I have always respected her for that choice, as she never drug her kids through the ugliness. read more

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Grandparent Types

I wonder how many types of grandparents are out there? What category do you fit into?

I figured I’d take a few minutes today and write about some of the different types of grandparents, my husband and I are.   I really think we’re run the full gamut of grandparent types. We are “parents” again to our oldest 2 granddaughters, we’re “weekend grandparents”  to the twins, “full time get to see them every day” grandparents to our middle daughter’s children, and across the country “don’t really know us” grandparents to husbands grandchildren from 1st marriage.    read more

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PUBLIC SCHOOL OR HOME SCHOOL??  

PUBLIC SCHOOL OR HOME SCHOOL??  That is the question of the week!!

I have 2 granddaughters that I pulled from the public school system last year, They were headed into 4th and 6th grade.  I am going to be bold faced honest here, I was scared to death to home-school them!! Yet, I was just as scared to leave them in the public school system.  So I did a TON of research and decided to pull them. I wasn’t confident enough to feel as though I could do a good job with them by doing what is referred to as “traditional home-school”, so I enrolled them in a program that is Nationwide, called K12.   They still followed all the educational teaching as if they were in public school, but they were taught at home, via a computer.  The wonderful thing about K12, is that they will supply basically everything you need.  They send a computer, printer, books, rulers, microscope, art supplies, music supplies, etc for FREE!!   

Each day they  had a class for all the  major subject: Math, English Language , Science and Social Studies (history). In addition to that, they had additional time that was allotted each week for Art and Music.  Every morning they were up , had breakfast and signed onto a virtual classroom with a live teacher and they participated in a classroom with other kids.  I have to admit, 99% of the time we were doing “school” in their pajamas.  This program is a wonderful tool for those that don’t want their children in public schools , for whatever reason, and yet don’t feel as though traditional home-school is within their realm of possibilities.  Each state has what is called Virtual school and for my state that was Tennessee Virtual Academy (TNVA)

The girls still were required to do 6.5 hours a day of either live classes or live classes combined with assignments that were assigned through their teachers.  The majority of that work was done on the computer for my oldest granddaughter, the one in 6th grade. We did some assignments that were offline, yet we still had to “turn in the work” via her classroom sign in.  The 4th grader did a lot online as well, yet she had more offline work that I helped her with individually. We did things such as spelling , studying sentence structure, vocabulary, etc. Once she had completed her off line work, she would have to go online and take a test based on what we had studied.   The wonderful thing is you don’t have to have a large area for this type of schooling, I literally used my kitchen table.  We hung a whiteboard in the diking room area that kept our daily schedules and little words of encouragement or wisdom for the day.  

Both the girls still had weekly tests they had to take, they received a grade for that work in addition to any classroom assignments for the week.   At the end of the year, we also did the state mandated TCAP testing. That was the only testing that we had to go to a designated site and they were tested in a live one on one testing site.  Of course, they received a quarterly report card with their grades each semester, just as they would in public schools. Several times during the year TNVA scheduled what they called “outings” where we were able to gather with other kids and teachers from TNVA and we had a fun day.   In addition to that, my girls were enrolled in a local YMCA program for home-school kids on Friday afternoons, where they were able to get together with kids their ages and had some organized play,they went swimming and basically just had some time away from “school” on Fridays. We also had PE daily at home, basically consisted of jumping and doing tricks on trampoline or riding bikes outside

As they year came to an end, they both had told me they wanted to go back to public school for the following school year.  Their mom and I had a lot of debates about that, yet we decided in the end that we would give it a try. We had originally pulled them due to several reasons, one of the main reasons though was we didn’t feel as though their individual educational needs were being met.  In addition to that , we were concerned about some of the friend choices being made. So here we are , on Fall Break, nine weeks into their school year.

The question we are facing now is should we continue with public school or go to the next step, which is traditional home-school.  For a variety of reasons, I won’t go back to the K12 system. The main reason though, is the freedom that homeschooling will give us as opposed to public school online, aka K12/TNVA.   We were so locked into a schedule with TNVA, and that works great for some parents, yet for me I want the freedom to be able to teach them in order to LEARN, not just teach them to TEST.   Sadly, I think that is what our public school system has become.

My youngest granddaughter that we had pulled from school last year, so far is doing great.  Her grades are showing A’s and B’s. However, if you look at the actual work she is doing, they haven’t taught her very much that is new this year as opposed to what she was learning last  year. I understand that they do review for the first few weeks, but her ENTIRE 9 weeks has been review with very few new things taught. My older granddaughter who is in 7th grade is FAILING.   She is getting D’s and F’s. THAT is concerning to say the least!! We have tried communicating with her teachers and the end result is she is still failing. Now, I know a lot of that is on her and she just isn’t applying herself.   I know that there has been some bullying and adjustments, but how long do we wait to see if she pulls her grades up? That is the question that we are debating right now!!

When do you make the final choice to pull your child from public school?   I know in my heart, that she will do better being taught at home. She will have the individual attention needed to make sure that she is doing the work and actually applying it.   After having had both girls home last year, I learned a lot and I feel that I could successfully teach her at home, through a traditional home-school curriculum. To be honest, I basically already have it picked out what I would use this year.   As with any parent that home-schools for the first time, of course I am a little nervous and want to be certain that I give her the best education possible!

We are still in the decision making stages of Public School or Home-school question.  There is so much more that goes into why I feel that home school is a better option for them at this point, but I will leave that to be talked about another day! I will update again once we have made a final choice and of course let you know how that is going!!   So until the saga continues….. read more

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Fun, Safe Ways to Bond With Your Grandchildren

Photo courtesy of Pixabay

Grandchildren are one of life’s blessings from above. Children are bundles of joy, even if they sometimes also seem to be bundles of endless energy. Like most grandparents, you probably are eager to spend more time with them, especially while they are young. When spending time with your grandchildren, you’ll probably want to consider activities that are entertaining for everyone while also keeping the children engaged. Of course, it’s also important to choose activities and experiences that are not only fun, but are equally safe for yourself and your grandchildren.

Here are some ideas for ways to bond with your grandkids:

Technology-free Activities

Experts have confirmed what many grandparents have been saying for years: today’s children are spending too much time in front of computer screens, iPads, and cell phones, and too little time being… well… children. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) now recommends decreasing children’s technology usage. While technology isn’t all bad and can’t be completely avoided, it should be balanced with other healthy activities, including playtime and time spent outdoors.

All of the recommendations in this article allow us to bond with grandchildren away from the computer screen. Encourage your grandchildren (and your adult children) to put down the mobile devices and talk to each other. Go outside for a walk. Take them to a park to play. Enjoy cooking a meal together at home. There are many possibilities for how you can spend time together the good, old-fashioned way.

Educational Activities

As a society, so many of the ways we bond with children involve sports. While there’s nothing wrong with outdoor activities, there are many other ways to have fun with your grandchildren. Educational activities can be a way to teach your children something new while possibly even inspiring a lifelong passion. Best of all, activities like the ones included in these lesson plans are safe ways to spend time with your grandchildren without the risks of sports-related injuries.

There are endless opportunities to teach your grandchild something new about your favorite subject (or theirs). You could spend time cooking together and discussing food science while taste-testing the foods. You could look at ideas for safe, at-home science experiments online. You might even consider this water conservation activity from PBS, which can be performed using simple supplies that you probably already have around the house.

Pet-Friendly Activities

If you’re a pet owner, you might want to consider ways you can incorporate your “fur baby” into the family activities as well. If you own a dog, an easy activity is to involve your grandchildren in the training and care of your dog. Children can have a wonderful time teaching dogs tricks such as sit, down, or shake. A game of fetch can be another fun way to entertain both your children and your dog.

You might also teach your children how to properly walk your dog. You could start with a gentle walk around your block or neighborhood. Dog parks are another great destination for getting some outdoor fun. Your local dog park will allow your two-legged and four-legged family members to enjoy exercising outdoor in the sunshine. Not sure where the nearest one is? Try a site like Rover.com, which lists dog parks by city. Here are a few examples to get you started: Albuquerque, NM, Madison, WI, Indianapolis, IN, Knoxville, TN, Saint Paul, MN, Portland, OR, Miami, FL, San Jose, CA, Raleigh, NC, and Calgary.

Here is a great place to find some Dog Products!  Just click HERE to check them out!

Any Other Ideas?

The ideas listed above are just a sample to get the ball rolling. The opportunities are truly endless! When it comes to deciding what to do with your grandchildren, your imagination really is the limit. As long as the activity is safe for both of you and keeps the children engaged, you’ll be able to enjoy spending time with each other and developing an even deeper bond. That truly is a blessing.

Article credit:  Denise Long 

I love hearing from my readers, please be sure to comment below  and let me know your input!   Whether you are a grandparent raising your grands, or are just blessed to have these little ones in your life, I want to hear from you!! read more

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Emotional Days

We had a good day, although it was an emotional and busy one. It started out with the girls (granddaughters) going to their first counseling appointment. This is something that they have needed to have in place for about 6 months, but just wasn’t possible until recently.

I am very blessed to have found a wonderful woman that the girls instantly “clicked” with. I must admit that I wasn’t prepared for the reaction that I saw in the youngest granddaughter, Natalie. I knew that Angela was going to find it easy to talk with a counselor, and I thought that Natalie would just follow along. However, what I saw today after our initial “meet and greet” with the counselor was a little girl who was all of sudden faced with the fact that she might have to deal with some of the feelings that she has been burying down deep. Because of her age, she doesn’t know how to verbally express that, so instead, those emotions and fears come out in her behavior. She has always been the happy child, that is always smiling and doesn’t let you know that she is upset by anything. However, what I saw today after our counseling appointment was a little girl that was crying at the drop of a hat and being extremely combative . She is hurt, mad and confused. It breaks my heart to watch them go through this, and all I can do is love on them and pray.

Her sister, Angela, is the child who “wears her heart on her sleeve”. She has no problem verbalizing what is going on and how she feels about things. They are very much like a lot of sisters, total opposites. I am thankful that both of them have begun the process of starting to sort through all the feelings and emotions over how their life has changed this past year. I pray that God gives me the words and wisdom to help guide them, to help them become the beautiful , healthy strong young women that I know they will be.
After our emotional morning, I decided it was time to go have a little pampering time, so off to the Nail Salon we went. They both got to pick out a Nail design they wanted . I loved the design that Natalie picked, although I have to say, it was a challenge for our Nail Tech to get it on her tiny little toes. Once again, total opposites. Natalie had her toes done and Angela had her nails painted.

GIRLS NAILS
GIRLS Nails and toes

GIRLS NAILS

We rounded off our day with their Softball game, which we WON! It was only the second game of the season that they have won, so it was a great end to a busy Saturday!
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(Note: Original post written April 24,2016)

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Grandparents raising grandbabies

Angela natalie goofing off (2)

I look around my life and I find that there are so many people that I know that are grandparents and they are raising their grandchildren.  Where are the parents?   Sadly, this is the world that we live in, we see more and more families with this situation.  I never thought in a million years, that I would be joining the ranks of this group of grandparents, but here I am.

I have 2 beautiful grand daughters, ages 8 and 9 that I love with all my heart. I have been in their lives since the day they were born, in fact my husband (Papa) cut the youngest ones umbilical cord.  They were at my house as much, if not more, than they were in their own homes.  You see, they lived right behind me in an apartment that my husband and I own until last spring.  My daughter decided to move and shortly after that , the girls came to live with me.

I have 3 children, the girls’ mom (31 yrs old), a daughter (19 yrs old) and my son (16). I have basically raised all my children and now I feel as though I am starting over.  With the situation the way it is with my oldest daughter, I wouldn’t have the girls anywhere else, but that doesn’t mean that it is easy by any means! I just don’t have the energy I had when I was younger and raising my own children.  I became disabled several years ago, and due to that I just don’t have the physical ability to do things with my grandchildren that I would like to do.  Since I am the parent at this stage in their life, it does require things like doing homework, bath time, school functions, sports, etc.  All of those activities, take a toll on my husband and I physically, emotionally and financially.  I mean something as simple as getting dinner on the table, doing homework, making sure they are brushing their teeth and taking showers, and then bedtime prayers, wears me out!  I am not old by any means, but I am not a spring chicken anymore either.

I admit, I find myself getting mad or frustrated because while I want to be the grandparent that spoils them , fills them with sugar and sends them home, I don’t get to do fun stuff like that.  Instead, I have to be the disciplinarian in their lives, and teach them the life skills that a parent should be teaching them. There are challenges involved with the girls , simply because of their emotional state of mind.  I found that on days they are missing their mom really bad, they each react in their own different ways.  While one of the girls gets sassy and starts acting out, the other one seems to internalize it and gets emotional and clingy.  I have sat them both down and talked with them, telling them instead of “acting out” and getting into trouble, to come talk to me. I have given them both journals , so they can write their “feelings” down.  However, they are 8 and 9, and they just don’t know how to handle the emotions they are feeling. Prior to coming to live with me, their mom was a single mom for most of their lives.  Their dad has been in and out of their lives since the day they were born.  So, when they are missing somebody, it is always mom.  All I can do is pray over them and be the best parent I know how to be.

I am hoping by writing this post there will be other grandparents out there that are in the same shoes as me, to at the very least know that they aren’t alone.  In fact, I looked up some statistics and I found some shocking numbers. In 2010 about 1 in 14 children in the US lived in a household headed by a grandparent, 7% of the children in the US.   According to the articles I have read on this subject, that is approx. 4.9 million children.  About 920,000 children were living in a grandparents home without one of their parents. How crazy is that statistic!?

I said it before and I will say it again, I LOVE my granddaughters with all my heart and I am so thankful that God has placed them in my home, so I know that they are safe and have a stable home.  I hope that as the girls grow up, they know that their Papa and I have done the best job we know in raising them.   I pray constantly and hourly for my oldest daughter that she will “wake up” and realize that her girls need her more and more with each passing day.    I hope that one day, I will get to be that Nana that spoils the heck out of them and sends them home to their mom, in a loving and stable home.   I hope that in some way, I have opened my readers eyes to the joys and tribulations to Grandparents raising grandchildren.

Reference Articles:

http://www.prb.org/Publications/Articles/2012/US-children-grandparents.aspx

http://www.aarp.org/relationships/grandparenting/info-12-2010/more_grandparents_raising_grandchildren.html

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