Grandparents Raising Teenagers / Update

It has been months since I gave an update on raising our 2 oldest granddaughters.  

I will start with a quick recap of how we got to this point in life.  About 8 years ago, our oldest daughter started her fight with addiction and she brought her girls to live with their Papa and I.  If you would like to know the beginning of that story, I have put a link to that blog post here

It seems as though my  home is full of hormones and teenage drama.  I love having the girls here, but wow!  Teenage girls can really test your patience! 

I am proud to say that their mom is out of jail now and is doing extremely well!  She is a stay at home mom with her 5 year old twins, who have just started kindergarten.  (I can’t believe they are old enough to be in school!)  I can’t help but think back to when the big girls began kindergarten as I watch the twins go through this new stage in life. (the 2 that we are raising)

First let me brag on the big girl’s mom, my oldest daughter.  She has fought through some awful choices due to her mental health issues and addiction over the years.  All of that landed her in jail a couple of short times and then this last time she was there for almost 2 years.  It was extremely hard on the big girls.  They were mad at her and yet still wanted her to be their mom full time.  When she was released she went to live with the twins’ dad.  It was different this time though.  She had truly made a decision when she came home to NEVER go back to that lifestyle and the twin’s dad was very supportive of her.  She chose to be a stay at home mom for several reasons at that point.  You see, as a felon, her choices for employment are very limited.  She was basically forced to work around other felons, ie: other addicts. ( I could write a whole other blog post on that subject alone and I very well may do that at a later date.)

The girl’s mom has been home now for 15 months and has stayed clean and sober.  I am so happy to say that she is now engaged to the twin’s dad!  That wonderful event happened this past summer.  She has spent the last year and half rebuilding her relationship with the big girls.  They go to their mom’s house at least 2 to 3 times a week and spend time with her , their twin siblings and of course mom’s fiance’.  It has been a slow process this past year or so, but they are all in a healthy space now.

Teenage years are the time in your life when you are figuring out how to be a young adult and take on the responsibilities of an adult, while still living at home and having the safety of your parents protection in case you make dumb choices.  The big girls are not only dealing with normal teenage thoughts and feelings, but they also are working through the abandonment issues that come when you have a parent that has fought with addiction issues.   I know that I have read a lot about addiction and the effects it has on families.  I would love to hear some input from any readers/followers that have dealt with addiction themselves or within the family unit!

I often wonder if Papa and I will continue to raise them until they are 18 or if they will be able to go live with their mom full time again.  We have always prayed that would be the end result.  We are currently praying over what the next step is for the girls and their mom. My daughter and I have a great relationship now so I know that she also wants what is best for them in the long run.   

Thank you for taking the time to read an update on raising our granddaughters.  Feel free to give any feedback in the comments section , I love hearing from my followers!!

10 Responses so far.

  1. Sue E says:

    Kudos to you and your husband!! I had to take care of me all by myself. My mother had MS and.was going through a terrible divorce with my dad, so I had nobody. It is one of the loneliest feelings in the world!
    But I knew I was doing this for my baby and I. I still would have wished I would have had some one to care about us and stick by us throughout all of our ordeals!
    My grandparents lived in CA. No help. Your daughter, your grandkids, your son-in-law and others learned from you guys what a loving family unit you have created! That’s important and what God wanted! They have a wonderful head start now, because of your caring and life’s lessons.

  2. Sandy says:

    Thank you so much for your encouraging words! Trust me , there are days raising teenage girls again that I need a ton of positive feedback. I know God has a plan in this, but it can be a lot!
    I know the battle of having to struggle raising kids on your own without parental help! I did that for about 6 years with my oldest daughter until I met my husband. I am praying that life has gotten easier for you!!

  3. Nova S says:

    thank you for sharing about this dynamic!

  4. Adriane says:

    With all the challenges, there is also a blessing. I have almost no family and would love to have this opportunity

  5. Kelly Blackwell says:

    What a wonderful team you and your husband are. I pray that your daughter and grandbabies are all doing well. What a blessing you are to them!

  6. Erica Ardali says:

    I think that is awesome! You guys really stepped up. I love families that do this.

  7. Brittany Gilley says:

    y’all are doing such a great job

  8. kim zoby says:

    Thank you for stepping in when your grandkids needed help. You all are amazing people.

  9. gloria patterson says:

    This is a story that I have heard many times some times it works out sometimes it does not. Happy to hear for your family it is working.

    I live in a senior high rise and a couple that live here daughter ended up in jail. The building let the couple rent another apartment and the grandfather lives in one with 2 boys and grandmother lives in another with 2 girls.

  10. jason jennings says:

    sound like a good thing to do

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