Grandparents Raising Teenagers / Update

It has been months since I gave an update on raising our 2 oldest granddaughters.  

I will start with a quick recap of how we got to this point in life.  About 8 years ago, our oldest daughter started her fight with addiction and she brought her girls to live with their Papa and I.  If you would like to know the beginning of that story, I have put a link to that blog post here

It seems as though my  home is full of hormones and teenage drama.  I love having the girls here, but wow!  Teenage girls can really test your patience! 

I am proud to say that their mom is out of jail now and is doing extremely well!  She is a stay at home mom with her 5 year old twins, who have just started kindergarten.  (I can’t believe they are old enough to be in school!)  I can’t help but think back to when the big girls began kindergarten as I watch the twins go through this new stage in life. (the 2 that we are raising)

First let me brag on the big girl’s mom, my oldest daughter.  She has fought through some awful choices due to her mental health issues and addiction over the years.  All of that landed her in jail a couple of short times and then this last time she was there for almost 2 years.  It was extremely hard on the big girls.  They were mad at her and yet still wanted her to be their mom full time.  When she was released she went to live with the twins’ dad.  It was different this time though.  She had truly made a decision when she came home to NEVER go back to that lifestyle and the twin’s dad was very supportive of her.  She chose to be a stay at home mom for several reasons at that point.  You see, as a felon, her choices for employment are very limited.  She was basically forced to work around other felons, ie: other addicts. ( I could write a whole other blog post on that subject alone and I very well may do that at a later date.)

The girl’s mom has been home now for 15 months and has stayed clean and sober.  I am so happy to say that she is now engaged to the twin’s dad!  That wonderful event happened this past summer.  She has spent the last year and half rebuilding her relationship with the big girls.  They go to their mom’s house at least 2 to 3 times a week and spend time with her , their twin siblings and of course mom’s fiance’.  It has been a slow process this past year or so, but they are all in a healthy space now.

Teenage years are the time in your life when you are figuring out how to be a young adult and take on the responsibilities of an adult, while still living at home and having the safety of your parents protection in case you make dumb choices.  The big girls are not only dealing with normal teenage thoughts and feelings, but they also are working through the abandonment issues that come when you have a parent that has fought with addiction issues.   I know that I have read a lot about addiction and the effects it has on families.  I would love to hear some input from any readers/followers that have dealt with addiction themselves or within the family unit!

I often wonder if Papa and I will continue to raise them until they are 18 or if they will be able to go live with their mom full time again.  We have always prayed that would be the end result.  We are currently praying over what the next step is for the girls and their mom. My daughter and I have a great relationship now so I know that she also wants what is best for them in the long run.   

Thank you for taking the time to read an update on raising our granddaughters.  Feel free to give any feedback in the comments section , I love hearing from my followers!!


UPDATE: Grandparents Raising Grandchildren

Natalie, 13 yrs old & Angela, 14 yrs old

It has been months since I wrote a heartfelt blog post.  I find myself feeling all kinds of crazy emotions lately, so I figured now was a great time to start getting back to what I originally created this blog around. I am a grandparent raising grandchildren.   The crazy part of that statement is that I am only one of 2.7 million grandparents that are currently raising grandchildren!

Just to give a quick update.  I am married to an incredible husband and we are getting ready to celebrate 25 years of marriage in a couple of months.  About 6 years ago our 2 oldest granddaughters came to live with us.  Our oldest daughter, their mom, has addiction issues in addition to some mental health things going on.  She has always been a great mom and so when she felt herself making some bad choices and running from some things that had happened in her adult life, she brought the girls to her dad and I.  I have always respected her for that choice, as she never drug her kids through the ugliness.

I always thought it would be a temporary situation, yet here we are 6 years later.  I believe at this point even though mom is working hard on making better choices, that the girls will live with us until at least they graduate.   They are 7th and 9th grade at this point, so it just makes sense to have them stay here with their Papa and I.

It has been a long time since I gave a full picture of how we became a part of that 2.7 million 2 grandparents.  You can find my original post written in January 2016 below.  

For this post, I want to give a brief update. Mom hit rock bottom about a year after the oldest 2 came to live with my husband and myself.  She was put on probation and did great for a period  of time.  She came to live with her dad, myself and the 2 girls.  She did extremely well for about 3 ½ years.   During that time her birth control failed and we ended up with a set of twin grandbabies, Kenneth and Karra!   They are amazing and our daughter stayed sober, working and on her mental health meds for a long time.  Yet, as it happens with addictions it reared its ugly head when the twins were about 2 and mom ended up with a violation on her original charge.   Over the next year or so, she caught 2 more charges and ended up going to jail. The twins dad has been doing an amazing job raising them and has every intention of helping mom when she is released.   As of about a week ago, she has been in jail for a year.  That is one full year of missed birthdays, missed holidays, in addition to all the other first she missed..her oldest daughter’s first day of high school, the twins learning to potty  etc.    I am proud of how she has changed and worked on improving herself since she has been in jail and we as a family are praying for the day she is released on Parole and is able to start being a healthy mom again.  

Twins
3 yrs old, Kenneth & Karra

Her oldest girls that live with us have really had a hard time this past year.   They are both teenagers now and have had a ton of acting out behaviors.  They are angry , sad and at times indifferent to their mom.   Of course, they have been in counseling for years but counseling only does so much.   

When the girls first came to live with us, our youngest son was 15. He had to share his parent time with his nieces and for the most part did a great job of being an uncle who had to live in the same home with them. Our other daughter, has also had to do some adjustments through all of this. She has 3 of our precious grandbabies and I have no doubt that she has felt slighted at times from us as her mom and dad, even though her dad and I have worked hard to prevent those feelings. We are very blessed that she lives on our property so we see our grandbabies from her several times a day on a regular basis. Over the years, I feel that both of our other children have worked hard to be there for the 2 oldest granddaughters and pour into their lives.

I pray constantly for both the big girls that live with us, the twins who are now 3 ½ years old and of course our daughter!  I love all my grandchildren (we have a total of 12) and I have to admit it is hard that with my 2 oldest, I have to be the “parent” and we don’t get much of the “grandparenting” privilege’s with them. Yet, if I had it to do all over again, I would make the same choices and have the girls here with us.

Angela, Natalie, Mom, Karra and Kenneth

I have decided for a variety of reasons to homeschool the 13 year old. My husband and I felt it was best to have her at home to be certain that we were her strongest influences in her life, instead of some friend choices she was making. I am really praying that she will have matured enough we can send her back to public school next year, but only time will tell. The 14 yr old started high school this year and has had some difficulty adjusting to high school. She has showed a lot of maturity in the past couple months, so I am confident that she will be excelling by the end of the year!

So that is my current update. I wonder how many of my followers are grandparents raising grandchildren? Or maybe you know families who are? I would love to hear from you in the comments section!!


Grandparent Types

I wonder how many types of grandparents are out there? What category do you fit into?

I figured I’d take a few minutes today and write about some of the different types of grandparents, my husband and I are.   I really think we’re run the full gamut of grandparent types. We are “parents” again to our oldest 2 granddaughters, we’re “weekend grandparents”  to the twins, “full time get to see them every day” grandparents to our middle daughter’s children, and across the country “don’t really know us” grandparents to husbands grandchildren from 1st marriage.   

As I sit here tonight,  watching my twin 2 year old grand babies…I can’t help but think to myself,  I didn’t envision grand-parenting to be like this.  

Karra, age 2 **** Kenneth, age 2

You see,  I’m not watching the twins because I get to do the traditional babysitting on weekends,  like normal grandparents. I’ve got them tonight because their mom is in jail and their dad is sick.   He needed some extra help tonight and I’m sooo thankful he called and asked me!! As they both have acted out tonight,  I can’t help but think this behavior because mom isn’t here? This is moms 2nd time in jail in less than 6 months. I find myself sitting and crying because I know they don’t understand.    They usually have their older sisters here, yet tonight that wasn’t the case. It’s been a rough night with just Nana and Papa watching the twins… but again, I’m happy dad knows to call on us when things get tough.

The twins don’t live with Papa &  I. However, their older sisters have lived with us for about the last 5 or 6 years.  The 13 year old is at a friend’s house tonight, while the 12 year old is skating.

I will admit I’m a little jealous of those grandparents that get to spoil the grandkids,  then send them home to their parents. I don’t get that experience with my 2 oldest grandchildren.    I pray as time goes on that I will continue to have that kind of relationship with the younger grand-kids. 

 Thirteen years ago,  when we first became grandparents,  neither my husband nor I ever envisioned that we’d be raising that granddaughter.   Or her sister that was born 1 year and 18 days later. My husband and I and their mom have all come to realize that the best place for these girls is right here in our home.  Of course, we continue to pray that they have a relationship with their mom. At this point, I don’t know what that’s going to look like long term, so we will just pray and put that in God’s hands. 

As the twins are settling in and their 12 year old sister comes home to cuddle with them, my house starts to quiet down again.  I find myself wondering, how many other grandparents are in our position? Raising some of their grand-kids, while trying to balance being a “normal” grandparent to the rest of their grandchildren.?    

I would love to hear from you if you are a grandparent raising a grandchild or grandchildren?   Do you have the same emotional struggles?  
Genesis, age 2 *** Abel, age 2 months *** Serenity, age 3
These are our middle daughters babies

PUBLIC SCHOOL OR HOME SCHOOL??  

PUBLIC SCHOOL OR HOME SCHOOL??  That is the question of the week!!

I have 2 granddaughters that I pulled from the public school system last year, They were headed into 4th and 6th grade.  I am going to be bold faced honest here, I was scared to death to home-school them!! Yet, I was just as scared to leave them in the public school system.  So I did a TON of research and decided to pull them. I wasn’t confident enough to feel as though I could do a good job with them by doing what is referred to as “traditional home-school”, so I enrolled them in a program that is Nationwide, called K12.   They still followed all the educational teaching as if they were in public school, but they were taught at home, via a computer.  The wonderful thing about K12, is that they will supply basically everything you need.  They send a computer, printer, books, rulers, microscope, art supplies, music supplies, etc for FREE!!   

Each day they  had a class for all the  major subject: Math, English Language , Science and Social Studies (history). In addition to that, they had additional time that was allotted each week for Art and Music.  Every morning they were up , had breakfast and signed onto a virtual classroom with a live teacher and they participated in a classroom with other kids.  I have to admit, 99% of the time we were doing “school” in their pajamas.  This program is a wonderful tool for those that don’t want their children in public schools , for whatever reason, and yet don’t feel as though traditional home-school is within their realm of possibilities.  Each state has what is called Virtual school and for my state that was Tennessee Virtual Academy (TNVA)

The girls still were required to do 6.5 hours a day of either live classes or live classes combined with assignments that were assigned through their teachers.  The majority of that work was done on the computer for my oldest granddaughter, the one in 6th grade. We did some assignments that were offline, yet we still had to “turn in the work” via her classroom sign in.  The 4th grader did a lot online as well, yet she had more offline work that I helped her with individually. We did things such as spelling , studying sentence structure, vocabulary, etc. Once she had completed her off line work, she would have to go online and take a test based on what we had studied.   The wonderful thing is you don’t have to have a large area for this type of schooling, I literally used my kitchen table.  We hung a whiteboard in the diking room area that kept our daily schedules and little words of encouragement or wisdom for the day.  

Both the girls still had weekly tests they had to take, they received a grade for that work in addition to any classroom assignments for the week.   At the end of the year, we also did the state mandated TCAP testing. That was the only testing that we had to go to a designated site and they were tested in a live one on one testing site.  Of course, they received a quarterly report card with their grades each semester, just as they would in public schools. Several times during the year TNVA scheduled what they called “outings” where we were able to gather with other kids and teachers from TNVA and we had a fun day.   In addition to that, my girls were enrolled in a local YMCA program for home-school kids on Friday afternoons, where they were able to get together with kids their ages and had some organized play,they went swimming and basically just had some time away from “school” on Fridays. We also had PE daily at home, basically consisted of jumping and doing tricks on trampoline or riding bikes outside

As they year came to an end, they both had told me they wanted to go back to public school for the following school year.  Their mom and I had a lot of debates about that, yet we decided in the end that we would give it a try. We had originally pulled them due to several reasons, one of the main reasons though was we didn’t feel as though their individual educational needs were being met.  In addition to that , we were concerned about some of the friend choices being made. So here we are , on Fall Break, nine weeks into their school year.

The question we are facing now is should we continue with public school or go to the next step, which is traditional home-school.  For a variety of reasons, I won’t go back to the K12 system. The main reason though, is the freedom that homeschooling will give us as opposed to public school online, aka K12/TNVA.   We were so locked into a schedule with TNVA, and that works great for some parents, yet for me I want the freedom to be able to teach them in order to LEARN, not just teach them to TEST.   Sadly, I think that is what our public school system has become.

My youngest granddaughter that we had pulled from school last year, so far is doing great.  Her grades are showing A’s and B’s. However, if you look at the actual work she is doing, they haven’t taught her very much that is new this year as opposed to what she was learning last  year. I understand that they do review for the first few weeks, but her ENTIRE 9 weeks has been review with very few new things taught. My older granddaughter who is in 7th grade is FAILING.   She is getting D’s and F’s. THAT is concerning to say the least!! We have tried communicating with her teachers and the end result is she is still failing. Now, I know a lot of that is on her and she just isn’t applying herself.   I know that there has been some bullying and adjustments, but how long do we wait to see if she pulls her grades up? That is the question that we are debating right now!!

When do you make the final choice to pull your child from public school?   I know in my heart, that she will do better being taught at home. She will have the individual attention needed to make sure that she is doing the work and actually applying it.   After having had both girls home last year, I learned a lot and I feel that I could successfully teach her at home, through a traditional home-school curriculum. To be honest, I basically already have it picked out what I would use this year.   As with any parent that home-schools for the first time, of course I am a little nervous and want to be certain that I give her the best education possible!

We are still in the decision making stages of Public School or Home-school question.  There is so much more that goes into why I feel that home school is a better option for them at this point, but I will leave that to be talked about another day! I will update again once we have made a final choice and of course let you know how that is going!!   So until the saga continues…..

I would love to hear from ANY and ALL of my readers that fall in the following categories!!   Please respond in my comments section…as I am always looking for great feedback!!
  • Currently home-school?
  • Success and failures at homeschooling?
  • Home-schooled in the past?
  • Public School at home? (K12 or another Virtual Academy)
  • Any other feedback on homeschooling vs public school!

K12 End of Year Outing

Here is the great thing about being a student within TNVA, several times a year they have what they call Outing days.   This past week , we had one scheduled where we were meeting up at a park about 30 minutes from my house, TNVA does their best to pick locations that will work for people , so that they don’t have to drive a crazy distance to take part in them.  

Two days before the outing, I took a HUGE fall!!  I was getting out of our truck, when I stepped down, my foot slipped on somebody’s nasty Dairy Queen slushie cup, that they had just dumped outside their car.   When I was finally able to get up and walk, I was sooo mad!! Due to my disabilities, for me to take a fall like that is awful. I slammed straight down HARD jarring my entire spine, fell back , hit my neck (RIGHT where all the bars and plates are in my neck) on the runner you use to step in and out of a truck and hit my head on the floorboard of the truck.    I was barely able to drive home. Thank God my daughter was with me and she helped me get up and make it to the house.

The next 4 days found me on the heating pad and not doing a whole lot of movement.  I was so upset that we weren’t able to make the Outing for school!! This is the only time that the kids get together physically with other kids from their classes and get to meet up with their teachers.   They have just finished up with the state mandated testing weeks, and had really been looking forward to this day!! I decided to make the most of a bad situation.

A friend of ours, Kelly,  that we have made through TNVA, lives locally.  I mention that, because the kids they are in online classes with are located all across the state of Tennessee..    I messaged her and found out she wasn’t going to the Outing either for her own reasons. Perfect! We decided to get together  and take the girls to our local park. We have had a huge heat wave this past week, so the park we picked was perfect. Their is a huge water fountain that the kids play in ,run around getting wet and in general  just being kids. So I packed it up, grabbed my older daughter and 2 yr old granddaughter (the more the merrier) and we headed to the park.

It was a great way to make up for missing the Outing , and the kids still got to hang out with a fellow TNVA student.   This was the last Outing we will have with TNVA this year, so we enjoyed the time hanging out and just visiting.                                                                            

We are coming to the end of this school year, and are making some big decisions on what next year will bring for my granddaughters. I will make another post in the next day or so to talk more about that and what the future holds for the girls, our final thoughts on our experience with TNVA, etc.


More on K12 Homeschooling

It feels like forever since I last made a post about our Homeschool adventures!

Maybe that is because it really has been awhile since I was last on here with any updates.  Needless to say, I have been a little busy.

We have just finished up the 3rd quarter, and the girls are taking Benchmark testing this week.  Ugh! Yes, we are still having to do state testing with the program we are using, K12. There is a small part of me that is ok with that, because both girls are wanting to go back to brick and mortar school next year.  So that being the case, I want them used to doing the tests. However, I have to say the testing that public schools do with our kids, is one of the biggest issues I have with them. I have learned this past quarter, more than any other time in my life raising kids , that our public education system is truly teaching our kids to test.   I think I will stop with that, .I don’t want to get started on that subject with this post….because I believe that is a subject I can cover all by itself!!

At any rate, what I have found with having the girls home , taking their Benchmark tests is that they are so much more relaxed!!  They know as soon as they are done with the test, that the break they get is truly a break! I mean, at school, they are still physically in their school day… and are bound to do other school work.  At home , they have to do 30 minutes of math with an online program (Khan Academy) and they have to read for 30 minutes. Then they are done for the day. It makes for a much more pleasant testing day!!

We had a wonderful experience with Valentines this year.  As February approached, I wasn’t sure how I was going to handle the whole Valentine exchange thing.   Thankfully , I am connected with a wonderful group of mom’s that also have their children in K12…and we all exchanged addresses and the kids physically wrote out their Valentines.  We used good old fashioned “snail mail” to send them out. The girls LOVED getting a bunch of letters in the mail, and still got to celebrate Valentines the same way they have always been used to doing it in school.   

I decided to use the holiday to do an outreach project in our community for Valentines.  The girls made up 150 Valentines, added candy to them (some homemade cards, and some store bought cards) and we took them to a our local Retirement Home.   The girls got a big kick out of doing it and the residents at the Retirement Home were so happy to receive them. While we were making the Valentines, it gave me a chance to teach the girls about loving on other people and making sure that we always take time to give to others.   We talked about what happens as we get older, and why sometimes it is best to live in a facility. As a result, both girls have asked if we can go back and visit. What a smile that gave me!!

So now we are halfway through March, and are looking forward to Spring Break!!   We don’t have any big vacation plans for this break, as we are planning a Beach Vacation at the end of the school year. (more about that on another post)  I am sure we will get out and do some simple fun things, like head to the park, have an arts and craft day, maybe even get to go to the movies. Although, I have to admit, I haven’t seen a lot of kid friendly movies coming out lately.  

As a side note, check out this amazing site I found to help you with YOUR child’s education!!   It has wonderful tools to assist you, it is a rare find!!  Stop by and visit them HERE !!

Well, I guess I will wrap this up for now…..I will do my best in between lessons and classes, to give another update soon.  I plan on making a post that gives you more of my insight as to how our experience as a whole has been using K12 this school year, and what the plans are for the girls’ future education.   

As always, thank you for taking the time to read my blog ….and stay tuned for more posts to come!!!


K12 Homeschool , we have began!!

I started homeschooling both my 4th and 6th grade granddaughters this  last week, with the help of their mom.   I figured I would put a short post out there about it , just to update y’all a little bit of what our new classroom looks like.

                                         

We made this decision for multiple reasons, which I will explain via another post soon.  But we chose the K12 program , which is basically home school via the Public School System.  It is offered Nationwide and is a free program.

It has been a rough start, last week and this week so far.   However, today I believe we finally have started to settle into a routine.    The girls are LOVING it!!    Below I will share with you a couple pics we have taken to show off our classroom and the girls doing work.

I would TRULY LOVE TO HEAR from any other Mom’s or Dad’s that have chosen this path of Home Schooling!!     How long did you Home School?  What ages were your kids, maybe your reasons for doing so?  Any tips you can give?   I am happy to hear anything that  a HOME SCHOOL parent has to input!!    Comment below!!!!   

In her Math class…..all comfy and quiet and easily studying

Math Class Time!! I have never seen her smile about Math!!

History Class….deep in thought

Papa helping with class. It takes a village to raise kids….and the whole family helps!

You will see where we went and made a “special night” on our 1st night of home school, them working, our class room area, etc.

Stay tuned…..more to come about our home school experience!!

Our Special Night out on the 1st Day of School…Yum , Ice Cream!

Our Special Night out to celebrate our 1st day of Home School. Mom, with all 4 kids….the twins are only a couple weeks old .

Our Classroom: Daily Lesson plan all planned out

Our Classroom: A few encouraging words to keep them motivated

Class Room: One of the desk/work areas

Class Room: Laptop ready for the day’s lesson


Summer Time Updates! Twins and more!

We have lots of exciting news in our family, so I thought it was time I share with my followers what is going on in the world of Nana and family!!

Sisters pregnant together

Our late Spring/ early Summer started out with BOTH my daughters pregnant at the same time!!   They were only a couple weeks apart on their due dates.   Our oldest daughter, Crystal expecting twins (a boy and a girl)  and Tiffany expecting a girl.

Kenneth, 5 days old

Karra , 5 days old

Crystal’s twins,  Kenneth and Karra were born at 4:02 pm , 7/11/17, weighing in at 4.2 lbs , 17 inches long and 4.1 lbs , 16.5 inches long.   They were premature, as mom was only 34 weeks and 5 days pregnant.  Even though they came 2 weeks earlier than we had hoped, they are doing fantastic!!   They were born breathing on their own, although Karra did have to have a little oxygen to give her a  small kick start and she had a feeding tube the 1st 48  hours as well.    As of today, they are 1 week old and their pediatrician is extremely happy with how they have progressed.   They  have been in an isolette since they were born to assist them in maintaining their body temperatures.   Each day  , they have been weaned down just a little , and today we were told that hopefully by tomorrow Karra will be able to move to a regular crib.  Their little isolette monitors have to be at 28 for a 24 hour period.  We will know more tomorrow on that.   Her brother Kenneth is right behind her, as his monitor is reading 28.5.  

They both have been eating and increasing each day how much they are eating since the day after they were born, which is excellent for premature twins, from what I understand.  We have been told since day one, to be prepared for small setbacks, which as of yet we haven’t experienced.   We are staying in prayer that we don’t’ have any, but we also know that if that does occur,  that the twins will still be fine.   I will say this, I have learned sooo much about twins in general during my daughter’s pregnancy.  We are very hopeful and praying that they will be home by the end of next week!!

Tiffany, pregnant with Genesis

Tiffany with Serenity (14 months old)

My other daughter, Tiffany, is 38 weeks pregnant and due to deliver our 10th grandchild!!    She is hoping to be able to go into labor on her own, and has been doing everything possible to bring on labor.   We should know by tomorrow if they are going to make the decision to induce labor.  Either way, I am just praying for a healthy baby and easy delivery for mom.   Tiffany also has a 14 month old daughter at home  so there is no doubt she will have her hands full for the next several months.

Angela & Natalie, VBS

My husband and I are still helping to raise the 2 oldest granddaughters.   We started out the summer with VBS (Vacation Bible School) at the church, which of course the girls LOVED!!  The girls have had some exciting small trips this Summer.  They are enrolled in the “Kids bowl Free” program, so we try to get out and do that at least once a week.   (FANTASTIC PROGRAM!!  Check out the link HERE to see if it is available in your area!!)   We do struggle with coming up with activities for them, with my physical limitations and my husbands, yet we are blessed and have a large yard for them to play in.   This week we are putting up a Badminton/Volleyball set in the yard for them and they have a Croquet set I picked up for a GREAT price at a yard sale.  So they manage to keep themselves busy and entertained.   I do my best to keep them off the “couch” with their tablets all summer.   They are great girls and have been wonderful with helping at home.  They have had 2 small vacations this summer.   They went with their “bonus” grandma in Kentucky for several days and had a BLAST!!    Then they were home for about a week, and they were off again for Church camp.   The cool part is it is the same camp that my now 18 and 21 yr old went to as they were growing up.    

Angela and Natalie

I will update more as the new babies make their trips home and the newest granddaughter is born.   

I would love to hear what you have been doing this summer to keep your kids busy?    What adventures have you had this summer?  

are you a mom or grandmother to twins?    I would love to hear your input or advice on how you have dealt with the challenges and blessings of having 2 at once!! ?

BE SURE TO TELL ME IN COMMENTS BELOW!!